I believe there is some confusion or assumptions about suicide and suicidal thoughts. I am now 7 days in and I thought I could use this time to help others understand what someone goes thru during these times.

When someone is truly suicidal, they are feeling helpless, worthless, and hopeless. Unlike what Dr. Phil would like to think or assume. He and many others believe that person is being selfish if they take their own life. I don’t believe someone would want to kill themselves for selfish reasons like not getting what they want. I believe that is actually someone using what is called a “scare tactic”.

I say this, because I have actual experience with these thoughts. I didn’t hear about it and I didn’t learn about it in a classroom. I live IT.

And, just to put this out there, one of the worst things I’ve ever heard in those moments is that I’m dumb or stupid for even thinking of such a thing. Trust me…that doesn’t help at all! It’s not about being smart or dumb. I’m not wondering whether I’m right or wrong. I’m wondering whether I’m doing more harm than good. I’m an intelligent person, with a bachelor’s degree. Yet, I still contemplate suicide. I don’t want to think these things. These thoughts are not wanted nor chosen. It just comes on and is very overwhelming.

I am a manic bipolar with suicidal tendencies. I have been this way for over 30 years. Yes, the thoughts and feelings subside, if you’re strong enough to fight the urge. I have found that it is easier on everyone else if you hide these thoughts and feelings, and I think I just realized that it is easier on me if I hide it all.

I understand how confusing it can be for someone who has never experienced it. Just as confusing it is for me to imagine that most people never contemplate suicide. I have yet to figure out the solution or cure, you might say, but I have decided to not hide it so much. If not for me, then maybe the discussion can bring awareness on the subject.

So, I say to all my brothers and sisters out there…SPEAK up and let others in. If you’re afraid of bringing them down or making them worry…find someone else, anyone else. I found you and with the World Wide Web, you can find me too. Even if nobody is listening…SPEAK. It doesn’t take it away, but you become more aware of it.

And, I want to say one last thing about what Dr. Phil said about suicide being a selfish act. That statement made me angry, because I could not imagine a selfish person ever giving their LIFE for anything or anyone. That’s why they are called “selfish”, they think of none other than themselves.

Think about it this way, is it more selfish to want someone to live in misery for someone else’s sake? Or, someone who is willing to give their own life to spare others or even themselves. When someone commits suicide, there are always those to quickly call that person selfish for taking them away from them. Sounds like that is selfish. “You should live for me!” “You can’t kill yourself, it will hurt me and others around.” Sounds selfish to me.

So, Dr. Phil and everyone else out there that thinks someone commits suicide for selfish reasons, you’re wrong.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s